K/S pon farr fics with a twist

[darrus.livejournal.com]

Hi!
I'm kinda new to the fandom so I'm probably asking about thing everyone knows, sorry.

There are a lot of pon farr fics around but most of what I already read goes like "it's pon farr, they have sex and everything is ok".
I want to read something where it's not ok. Where Kirk is hurt at least physically and not ok mentally too, angry/not angry because he knew what he subscribed to but anyway finds the prospect of repeating the experience disturbing. In short, lots of angst *after* sex happened. If it winds up with a happy ending, the better, but I'd take just about anything - as long as it is set in TOS universe.
Hope something like that exists and you point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance :)

Comments

[crystallicsky.livejournal.com]

This is maybe slightly divergent from what you're looking for, since in this fic Kirk doesn't consent to the pon farr experience, but there's definitely a lot of him being upset and angry afterwards in Debt of Honor (http://www.ksarchive.com/viewstory.php?sid=1183&warning=1) by Brianna Falken, set in a TOS AU where Vulcan's not initially part of the Federation.

And as a sort of sub-note, knowing full well you specified TOS, I have to recommend a Reboot fic for this concept anyway, Heat (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1163857) by museaway because I think it does a really good job of handling that aspect of Kirk being not-as-okay as he'd like to be with everything pon farr entails and trying to figure out how to deal with it after the fact.

Hope you find what you're looking for somewhere! :)

[darrus.livejournal.com]

Thank you for advice! Will try Reboot too :)