annakas.livejournal.comHi I am looking for a Kirk/Spock fic I read years ago (atlest say about 4-6 years ago, I am not quite certain when or where I read it. Lady Kardasi's page rings a bell but I havent found it there so perhaps I didn't read it there after all) so I don't remember it quite well and I have more vague memories of what impressions/feelings the fic caused in me than the actual plot. I hope someone recognises atleast something from it.
I think it was an AU (nothing drastic) but the beginning basically had Kirk and Spock getting married.
I don't remember if it was their first meeting or if in it Spock had left the Enterprise because of politics/pon farr and Kirk had gone after him to get Spock back.
But the story begins in a warm/desert planet (Vulcan?) where Spock meets for the first time his spouse (Kirk) his parents had arranged for him because of political manouvering or because of Spocks pon farr had started. This marriage is not a joyous occasion but as Spock sees it more of a business transaction/burden or something along the lines of that.
The fic had a very big feeling of detachment from Spock, though he does get quite attached to Kirk and is in denial about it because he thinks Kirk agreed to the marriage only because of some kind of bargain/agreement he had with Spocks parents (blackmail from Spocks parents? Or Kirk had some academy troubles and Spocks parents promised to help him out/erase it if he marries Spock.)Perhaps there even was a time limit to how long the marriage will last? I don't remember it clearly.
There is some kind of miscommunication, or more lack of communication between Spock and Kirk in their marriage that causes the other to think/consider breaking up. I think the fic spans atleast a year of their marriage.
Kirk can't understand why Spock is so very emotionally distant (I think they were becoming friendly and then Spock had a "Oh shit! I want more but this is business moment" and turned cold again)
Even the sex was detached/Spock held back a lot in mind melding ect.
I think the situation was in the beginning of the fic they were estranged/strangers -> became friendly/realish couple -> Spock had his "Oh shit moment" and pulled back to estranged but polite -> Kirk was confused because of it and also pulled back -> In the break of seperating -> They finally both understand that they both are intrested in continuing things and have finally some real communication -> Turn in to real power couple! And fic ends
By the end they clear things up and understand that both are actually quite taken with the other and serious about the marriage/partnership and agree to continue it.
Also I vaguely remember that Spock was mesmerised by Kirk in their first meeting and compared him in his mind to sun/light. And Spock also thought that it figures his parents would find a perfect speciemen to marry him to (or perhaps this was from another fic?)
So does anyone recognise it at all? Sorry for being so vague, but I more remember the emotional detachment between the two and the fic taking place in Vulcan/desert setting, than anything more clear. It had slow development and good characterization.
annakas