Spock/Kirk childhood bond

[enchantedquil.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm looking for a fic where Spock and Kirk form a t'hy'la bond as children but ask T'Pau to break it as they do not wish to have their choices taken away. They later meet at the Academy and the bond reforms and they decide to keep it but they are not together. I remember at the end after Nero, Kirk finds Spock in the mess and in front if everyone sits in his lap and asks why his husband was trying to kill himself by not asking to be beamed off the Jellyfish. I've been looking for this fic for ages so any help will be appreciated.