FOUND: Looking for Fic

[inthewind101.livejournal.com]

This is TOS.  The first scence is Bones and Spock talking.  Kirk is having a bad time recently and has shut even them out.  Bones suggests that Spock reach out to him and admits he loves him. Spock is worried that he will be rejected and makes Bones promises to still be there for Kirk when/if this goes bad.

Spock goes to the captian's room and lets spock in but does not want to talk about it.  Kirk saids, "this is the one time, I can't let you.  just this time please understand" Spock says he wants to help anyway so offers a massage.  kirk goes to take a shower and spock does massage his shoulders, but things heat up after that.  We come to find out that what kirk needed was some to surrender mutally too.  it is very very sligh bdsm as kirk hands get tired, but not really dubious.  After that sene, they talk it out.  kirk had trouble after death of friend and spock talk about what happened on vulcan.

any thoughts on the title?