Specific Kirk/Spock fic

[milk-is-love.livejournal.com]

I'm looking for a story i once came across in someone's recs. Shortly, it's about Spock being voluntary tortured on a mission. Through ignorance Kirk sends him to paticipate in an alien ritual, which is about enduring pain, and Spock silently complies despite being aware of what he's going to experience.
Later, while still recovering from injuries, Spock is confronted by Kirk, who's determined to find out what the hell happened.

I should possibly mention the story contains graphic depictions of voilence (which i mostly skipped), but is otherwise a good read.