[identity profile] mojoflower.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] startrekficfinder
I'm trying to find an Academy fic where Jim and Spock begin a D/s relationship, heavy on the S&M.  Kirk is the masochist, and it's because he's all fucked up over his past and feels like he needs to be punished.  Spock is a great top (but not actually a sadist), but eventually realizes that Kirk wants him to hurt him in ways he can't recover from.  Spock finally says he's going to stop unless Kirk faces his issues.

Sound familiar to anyone?

Found!

Secret Vulcan Mating Rituals by mar

Summary: Everyone knows the story of how James T. Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru. But only Kirk, Spock, and McCoy know the real story. Set before and after the events of the film, this fic offers a slashtastic twist on events. Kirk/Spock, Kirk/McCoy friendship.


Words: 292,842  Chapters: 53/?

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