Kirk/Spock; BDSM; Vulcan Porn; bottom!Kirk

[aristoteles-27.livejournal.com]

Dear God, what a subject line for a very first impression and search *sighs*

Good evening everyone. I'm looking for a specific fic about Kirk and Spock that I read a few years back and recently remembered by accident.

The things I can remember are:

- I think it was TOS.

- Kirk going into Spock rooms for something (chess?) and finding there some magazines and videos of BDSM nature that reaaaally shocked him: it was Vulcan porn (I think?) about a human boy and a Vulcan in a very BDSM relationship. Spock finds him there, watching, and starts to explain some elements of the film to Kirk, who is not taking it very well.

- Don't know why, but Kirk is fighting Spock, who wants them to enter in a BDSM relationship. I remember something about Spock ambushing Kirk in a hallway to tease him and then leave him there or something.

- I remember clearly that Kirk didn't want to accept the "sub" part of his personality because of a trauma in his childhood or something... a friend with whom he used to do those things and got killed I think...

- McCoy also makes an appearance, tracking Kirk's mental health tests or something...

Well, those are the highlights of what I remember, but I hope you guys could help me find this fic... I really, REALLY, want to read it again.

Well, yeah... that's all, thank you.