K/S pon farr fics with a twist

[darrus.livejournal.com]

Hi!
I'm kinda new to the fandom so I'm probably asking about thing everyone knows, sorry.

There are a lot of pon farr fics around but most of what I already read goes like "it's pon farr, they have sex and everything is ok".
I want to read something where it's not ok. Where Kirk is hurt at least physically and not ok mentally too, angry/not angry because he knew what he subscribed to but anyway finds the prospect of repeating the experience disturbing. In short, lots of angst *after* sex happened. If it winds up with a happy ending, the better, but I'd take just about anything - as long as it is set in TOS universe.
Hope something like that exists and you point me in the right direction.

Thanks in advance :)