Specific Torture Kirk Fic

[kira2127.livejournal.com]

Hey y'all. I am trying to find a fic that I read a long long time ago and now can not find it for the life of me. I know I read it on fanfiction.net, but if someone can find it on other platforms I will take that.

It has been a few years so the details are a little sketchy. I remember there was definite Bones/Kirk tones, although I can't remember if it was shipping or just all the friendship. It wasn't an excessively long fic, it was stand alone, not a part of a big story. Basics is that Kirk was being tortured by an alien race. I think he was in a glass tube or something and they were giving him a drug that made him see all the bridge crew die in front of him and all he could do was pound on the glass.

Potentially the same fic or a different one, same idea in that aliens made him see his crew die in front of him, but I am remembering (maybe) a scene in which they are all on the bridge and either the drug thing happens then or they replay/etc. their deaths and Bones has to grab Kirk to make him realize it is not true while the rest of the bridge watches (with surprise?)

Any help is appreciated, thanks so much!